Audio + Video Narration for this blog
One often hears this:
I'm worried of setting a precedent. I mean, what will others think about me?
When I hear someone speak like this, I normally respond in hindi saying "Log kya sochenge,yeh bhi aap hi sochoge, toh phir bechare woh kya karenge?"
Let me translate it in English, trying to keep its humour intact,
If you start thinking what people will think about you, poor thing, what will they do? You would have lost them their only job that's Gossipping :-)
As long as what you are doing is righteous and has you with a clear conscience, its not wrong to set a precedent, is it?
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To get to this point of level-headed thinking, seeing humour rather than getting worried about gossip-mongering, let me narrate to you a story.
This is the story of anyone, who treads an uncommon path. One can be sure to have these experiences atleast once in life.
What's important is what learning you take back from this experience.
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Well, the narration ahead is part of several true stories.
The subjects of the story not only have a happy family, but also are treated with love and respect within the family and society. The names are changed to ensure privacy.
It so happened, Suhani an independent working professional & the would-be bride had only her old and retired mother as family. Suhani took the decision to get married only and only if the groom agreed to permanantly re-locate to her place. In India, it is a norm that the bride relocates to the husband's home after the ritual of Kanya-daan. Suhani dared to reverse this norm.
The bride's family were shocked and ashamed of Suhani. She became the talk of the town, family and friends in a negative sense. The groom's family spoke ill about the bride and bride's family as well. The groom Harshvardhan though surprised, decided to talk it out with Suhani. Suhani said that "..all I have is my mother, who would be left alone if I got married and relocated to your place." She also informed about her survey conducted on marriage, married women and their tryst to gaining respect, dignity and love in the in-laws place. In the balance, she told Harshvardhan, it would be risky to have her mother also relocate with her to the in-laws place, she might feel left out, what if she was ill-treated or not respected, it would affect our relationship. You have a large family, but all I have is only my mother. Harshvardhan being a mature and understanding guy, agreed to permanantly relocate with her.
The groom's family strongly opposed the marriage. The groom's relative Ms. Samiksha had openly criticized Suhani and her mother for such an upbringing. With a lot of efforts from Harshvardhan's parents and Suhani, this precedent was set, and the marriage took place.
The gossip with its added spices spread around the place for a long time.
On the humourous side, one can say, If gossip were food, many people would be overweight! Wouldn't they?
Suhani and Harshvardhan dealt with a few emotional upheavels due to the gossip mongering. Harshvardhan suggested they leave the city and live elsewhere. Suhani was firm and advised not to run away because of gossips. They eventually started their family, giving a deaf ear to the gossip mongerers, and were happy with their course of life.
After a year or two, Ms Samiksha who had played a key role in criticizing and gossip-mongering about Suhani, had to have her daughter Sharmila married. Sharmila got married, but faced a lot of abuse at the hand of the in-laws. She returned to her mother's place. She was in a bad state. She informed her mother Samiksha, that she would only be able to sustain her marriage, if her husband relocated to her place. This time, as it was her daughter's life, Samiksha agreed to this change in norm. Sharmila's husband relocated himself, while Suhani helped her come out of her mental trauma.
The town which had been talking ill of Suhani, now started gossipping about Samiksha and her daughter. They started respecting Suhani for her help and criticizing Samiksha for her attitude towards Suhani. So Samiksha now was the element of gossip in the town, while Suhani was loved and respected.
Well, what do we learn from this story?
People's attitude changed, with changing situations
Things turned 180 degrees, the gossip elements changed
The ones who were criticized in gossip, were now revered. While the ones who created the gossip, themselves became an element of gossip.
Suhani continued her life, without indulging in counter-gossip. What was the result? People became curious, as to why she wasn't reacting.
As she chose to stay unbaised and deaf to gossip mongerers, knowingly or unknowingly, she also helped the person, who indeed had criticized and spread gossip about her.
Remember it takes a lot of effort to sustain gossip, but just one action to silence it.
You see, gossip ends at the ears of the wise person.
There are a lot of us, whether common man, celebrities, politicians or nations who are victimized through this strategy.
A lot of problems in the world would disappear, if we talked it out to each other, instead of talking about each other, Isn't it?
Hope this put's your perspective into clear light. Wishing you a great day and do stay tuned to Pearls of Wisdom!
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